Unless you regularly do mushrooms and go to Lady Gaga concerts with your good friend Crispin Glover, then watching Maniac is guaranteed to be the weirdest experience you have ever had. You could just throw it anywhere! Starring Dudley Manlove as an alien who looks as though he regularly dishes out generous helpings of Manlove, and a giant sack of animate suet called Tor Johnson as inspector Dan Clay, Plan 9 lays out a bold tale of aliens who come to earth and yell at us in a shrill and undignified manner. Mike, Bill and Kevin cruise the movie like a large squalus grabbing it with their powerful—oh, what’s the word for it Just watch out for falling anvils and, really, just copious amounts of eyeball splatter. And we’d like to thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation in our tire kicking, fire lighting scheme. Return of the Jedi. Salt of the earth, Peter MacNicol, but it’s not him.

Moustache Dad, Harpo, the Volvo. It’s bold enough to hire Kim Cattrall for her acting experience alone in a role that has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. The Fifth Element, a clown-headed young woman in orange rubber lederhosen who held the key to saving earth from a big ball of evil…stuff. His reign of terror continues as he gets in line for the teller and begins to fill out his deposit slip only after he gets to the counter! Or does he just exist in some shadowy, nightmare dream world of my own creation? Oh, there are gunfights and fisticuffs and intrigue and Virginia Madsen playing put-upon wives and whatnot, but mostly, this is thrilling, non-stop, ink-spilling banking at its best! Forgive our emotion on this issue, but it’s just that Mike, Kevin, and Bill are probably the biggest Twilight fans on the planet.

The Matrix Revolutions delivers on all bullet points! But for our first ever Best of RiffTrax, we wanted to focus on some of the more overlooked villains in our catalogue. Yes, he did, but we edited that out of this ArachnaRiffic Rifftrax and left only the funny!


Rifftrax – S1.E62 – Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians bravely attempts to set the record straight. We have no idea what any of that means!

And in all the commercials they showed that part where the guy gets stomped on. This is an alternate version of our short What’s Happening? A once proud word that has been shockingly cheapened by over-use. Palpatine is not for everyone. The hilarity, much like the Relical, whatever that isis omnipresent in this RiffTrax, and it is guaranteed to make you feel the opposite of helpless, humiliated and sad, whatever that may be as well.

By the way, get used to watching Micah and Katie sleep, because that’s pretty much the whole movie.

The dance scene is vital to the plot: The guys behind Mystery Science Theater make fun of one of the worst video game movies of all time. Now hurry up and refill my Dew, I already bought tickets to see this again at 2: Yes, a night of performance art at your local coffee house is something to be endured. The Fifth Element, a clown-headed young woman in orange rubber lederhosen who held the key to saving earth from a big ball of evil…stuff.

A group of panicked survivors are barricaded in a deserted farmhouse while the army of flesh-eating zombies hovers outside their door.

Live audiences loved it and now you can too, forever and ever in digital form.

Rifftrax: Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone 123 movies

But in a respectable 2nd place, anyway, is Halloween, the horrifying tale of an evil madman named Mike Myers as if his Simon character wasn’t chilling enough who terrorizes a babysitter by putting on a jumpsuit and hiding in the hedge.


When I come back in six months to see The Matrix Revolutions, they had better balance out those ponderous scenes of two characters quietly discussing the minutiae of the plot with a lot rifftrxx tedious action sequences where I can’t tell what is going on.

The two run afoul of GenCorp, an evil mega-corporation run out of the mezzanine lobby of a small local library in Rutland, Vermont.

They must forge off on a non-stop mission of wandering around doing nothing in particular, not saying anything particularly noteworthy, and not looking particularly attractive or interesting.

And one of their favorites is X-Men, which tells the tale of a secret organization headed by Professor Charles Xavier, master of the mysterious brain device known as Cerebro and ideological enemy of the metal-manipulating villain Magneto. If not, what were you thinking? Howl with laughter at the sight of Ned Blandford! Will he win, let alone survive it?

Harry Potter: Half blood prince rifftrax

Night Shalalalalalalalalalala-tee-da burst onto the scene with the biggest suspense thriller of well, right behind a relatively short list of films that includes Analyze This, Wild Wild West and Varsity Blues. A true RiffTrax event! Yes, the funniest man in America joins Mike as they take on the classic Missile to the Moon.

It’s all very neat-o. Neil LaBute has done the impossible by making the most unintentionally funny movie since “The Lake House”. And ptter of course the several dozen spin-offs and spin-off sequels to wxtch.

But there’s also a truck. Tompkins, comedy person extraordinaire and quite a snappy dresser to boot! Seriously, what was that?

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